It’s summer, and thoughts in North Carolina turn to the beach. Some folks have bought a house and moved there for most of the season. Others rent a place for a week or two, or even just a weekend, so that they can join in the fun.
For folks with MS, the beach can bring out a whole new series of thoughts. It’s hot, the bathroom’s far away, and sand brings a whole new set of mobility challenges. I learned that the hard way last year, when I fell in the sand on the way to the beach and couldn’t get back up on my own. Walking was nearly impossible, so I was practically carried to the beach by my 31 year old nephew and my husband. And nothing could make me budge from my beach chair until it was time to go back to the beach house.
That story has a happy ending. The house where we were staying had a beautiful back yard with lounge chairs and a perfect spot of shade during the afternoon. And the weather was perfect – low 80s with low humidity – so I spent most of my time each day sleeping in the backyard. It was SOOOOO relaxing.
This summer, I knew the beach issue would come up again. My husband’s brother planned to get married on the beach, and I was understandably nervous about being able to get through the sand. Further complication – husband and children were in the wedding, so they had other things on their mind besides looking after me. But thanks to the 2 Ps’ – planning and preparation – the day worked out successfully.
- Planning – We identified the biggest issues of the day, figured out how we’d handle them, and then came up with a Plan B. They set up a few chairs so I’d have a place to sit once I got to the beach. We figured out what time I needed to get there so that my husband could help me to my seat without interfering with his wedding duties. And the wedding was near a pier that I could stand on if it was too tough for me to walk through the sand.
- Preparation – Now that we’d identified the issues, we just had to make sure we had everything in place we needed t be able to execute the plan. The chairs were set up so I could sit. We worked out the schedule so everyone knew where and when they needed to be.
So how did it all turn out? The wedding was beautiful, I sat there and enjoyed it, but I do have a bruised arm from where my husband gripped me to help me through the sand.
Surprise, Surprise
Right after we got home, my sister stopped by with an unexpected surprise. She and her sons were planning to go to the beach that weekend, but hadn’t been able to get a hotel room. They could get a condo…but it would only make sense to do that if my family came too. Since our boys love going to the beach, would we go along?
I immediately saw how wonderful it would be for my husband and kids to go, so I encouraged my husband to go ahead and say yes for the three of them. I also started to list my concerns so that we could address them and decide whether or not it would be worth it for me to go.
- How close to the beach were we staying?
- If I stayed at the condo while others were at the beach, what could I do?
- How easy was it to get in, out of, and around the house?
- If there were any side trips planned, could I participate in them?
We pulled up the condo on the computer so that we could answer the first three questions. The walk to the beach would be too much for me, so I’d be at the house. The house we had stayed in the previous year had been perfect for hanging around. There was plenty of yard and porch space for lounging, and in the house I had TV, DVD, and wi-fi. Best of all, it had an elevator, so getting around was a piece of cake. Unfortunately, the condo had a lot of steps to get in and out, and the bedroom that would have been best for my family wasn’t on the main floor. While there was a lovely porch for hanging out, there was no wi-fi. Then my husband mentioned he wanted to take the boys to tour the battleship, and there was no way I could handle the steps on that tour.
It was an easy decision.
So I’m home, eating leftovers by myself. My husband called last night to tell me how much fun everyone had that day. I did regret not having him around during a massive thunderstorm around 3am, until I realized how great it was that the kids weren’t there to be awakened and scared by the storm. I did appreciate the irony that morning when I realized my broadband and cable had been knocked out by the storm, but when I got back from lunch, I had my connectivity back.
Do I miss my family? Yes. But I feel good knowing that they’re having a wonderful time…and not worrying about me.
