I watched the musical Royal Pains episode. I’ll keep my opinions of the episode quality to myself (except to say that Scrubs pulled off the concept way better), but one of the songs is sticking with me. It’s not sticking with me because it’s funny (again, that’s what the Scrubs episode is), but because one of the songs pissed me off.
The big number – and the reprise at the end of the episode – is The Good News Is, You’re Going To Be OK. Since I’m having a glass-is-at-least-half-freakin’-empty-if-not-completely-dry day, hearing those words over and over did not sit with me well today. Because MS does not come with that promise.
I know, I know…none of us have that promise. Life is unpredictable for everyone, it just feels more obvious with MS. But sometimes, I want to skip to the end of a book so that I know what happens. I’ve moderated a reality TV message forum for years, and my favorite forums discuss spoilers. BTW, I’ve read spoilers that have mapped out the rest of The Bachelorette, but I’ve sworn myself to secrecy so that my mom and sister don’t disown me.
Sometimes I want to know the end of the story, or at least have an idea on where things are going. I think MS has fed that need to know. So much in my life feels uncertain now. What career options do I have, given my mobility and fatigue issues? Who would want me working for them, since I’m slow as molasses and prone to falling? I used to be able to travel for work, so how can I stay in my career path now that I can’t travel for work? How will my family be able to afford my healthcare costs?
How will my illness impact my children now that they’re approaching their teenage years? Will those now caring and compassionate boys become embarrassed because I use a rollator or if I fall in front of their classmates? Anyone reading this who knows my kids will tell me that no, my sons will not be embarrassed because I have MS. They will be embarrassed for the same reasons that other teenagers are embarrassed by their parents.
