I was reading the MS Society’s MS Connection forum yesterday when one of the questions hit me.
Has anyone ever had fears of starting a family knowing that you have MS?
Excellent question. She also talked about being scared she would pass along MS to her child. She reminded me the struggles I dealt with while deciding if I would be an MS Mom.
So I passed along some of my keys.
- Talk to people.
I had my first solumedrol IV days after I was diagnosed. When the other ladies in the infusion room found out I was a newbie, they were quick to share their own experiences and advice. The first thing one said?
If you want to have kids, go ahead – you’ll feel so much better while you’re pregnant!
- Do your research.
I was pleased to have anecdotal evidence, but I wanted to see what the medical community had to say. Thanks to the internet, I could find loads of information from research studies and MS online communities. I found out that it was more likely that I’d have a child with MS because I had it, but the statistics at the time estimated a 3-5% chance.Since I was in my mid-30s, I was more likely to have a child with Down’s Syndrome or a bunch of other conditions than I was to pass along MS. I was willing to accept the risk of those conditions, so it was a no-brainer for me to take the chance on MS.
- Accept that you will be tired…
Yes, people with MS have to deal with a special kind of fatigue. So do new parents. Put the combination together, and you are guaranteed to be tired. But one of the first things you have to learn while managing your MS is how to manage your fatigue.
- … But take advantage of opportunities to rest.
One of my biggest challenges is resting. I keep thinking of things that I “should” be doing, which makes it hard to get the rest I need. While being a mom is tiring, it also provides built-in rest times. There are mom moments where the best thing you can do is sit quietly with your child. Whether reading a story, or comforting a fussy child, or just holding a sleeping baby, you have to be still. Instead of feeling guilty about sitting and resting, I smile and whisper to myself, I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing right now.
- The most important mom quality? Love.
Yes, there are plenty of things I can’t do for my kids. I’m not the field trip chaperone, I’m not the energetic PTA president. But my boys know beyond a shadow of a doubt that their mommy loves them. And that’s the best thing a parent can give to her child.
