You will be asked about MS. Nothing is off-limits. What you think are embarrassing multiple sclerosis questions are just conversation topics in others’ eyes.
Some questions come from family and friends. The most common question “How are you?” It’s a conversation starter for folks who can’t think of anything else to say. If you’re newly diagnosed, you will get this question from every single person who knows you have MS. You will get tired of answering this question quickly. Make sure you can prevent an Eye-Roll when you answer it for the 4,763rd time.
“How are you” is why I started a blog in the first place. After being asked for the umpteenth time by the same people, I would tell them I had a blog where they could check up on me whenever they want. Then I would thank them for their concern. Keep that last sentence in mind when we talk about catch phrases later.
Meet the 4 Groups Asking Embarrassing Multiple Sclerosis Questions
MS 101
You need to be fluent in MS for Newbies. Since you have MS, you are now the premier expert in the field for many of the people who know you. They will ask you all kinds of questions like:
- How did the doctors figure out you have MS?
- What are some of the symptoms of MS?
- How are they going to treat it?
- How long will it take to get better?
Steady yourself for The Look of Pity when you tell them there’s no cure.
I’m Not a Doctor, But…
In addition to the MS 101 questioners, you will encounter The Experts. They have all the answers for you, even though they know practically nothing about MS. They know someone, read an article, or saw something on TV. They hear “MS” and immediately know it will work in your situation. After all, MS is MS, right?
Here’s another occasion when you need to avoid the Eye-Roll. You may also have to suppress The Head Shake and The Frustrated Sigh. While all are tempting, none would help the situation.
You Don’t Know Me, But…
Then there are The Strangers. People who barely know you – or don’t know you at all – will ask you a seemingly innocent question as a conversation starter.
Digging and Digging and Digging
Our final category is The Diggers. They may appear looking innocent enough as Newbies, Experts, or Strangers. The first question’s not bad, and the second one may be OK too. But at some point, a Digger goes into TMI Territory. You don’t know the person well enough to talk about THAT. Or you may be close to someone but still not want to talk about THAT.
You know those privacy policies you have to sign at the doctor’s office instructing them who is allowed to have certain information? Throw that out the window when faced with a Digger. They may not know your name, but they are awfully curious about your bowels and your bladder. No matter how much you want to, ignore your urge to do The Squirm.
Be Prepared
Q&A is not the time for improv. You can have a few base answers in your head for the common embarrassing multiple sclerosis questions. Sure, sometimes it’s easy to handle the question. You give a short, quick answer, and everyone goes along their merry way. But what about those times when it’s not so easy?
What you think are embarrassing multiple sclerosis questions are just conversation topics in others’ eyes.Click To Tweet
Handling the interrogation
When figuring out how to answer embarrassing multiple sclerosis questions, take a few things under consideration, like the age of the questioner and your relationship with the person. You’ll want to tailor your answers for your different audiences.
When you’re talking to a Child
Kids are curious. They’re also not always tactful. When they ask you a question, they’re not trying to embarrass or frustrate you. Remember when they bluntly ask you a question, they’re not trying to hurt your feelings. They just want to know.
Short, matter-of-fact answers work very well with children. Don’t use big words with smaller children. If they want more info, they’ll ask.
Years ago, my son’s preschool classmate asked, “Why do you walk with a cane?” I replied, “My leg doesn’t work well, so I need the cane to help me walk.” She said “Oh” and walked away. Question asked, answer given, done.
I’ve used a similar tactic with my boys as they’ve grown. When they were little, I’d only need a few words to answer their questions. Now that they’re tweens, they’ll ask more follow-up questions, but I still let them guide the conversation.
When you’re talking to a Newbie
Let’s go back to the list of questions I posted earlier.
- How did the doctors figure out you have MS?
- What are some of the symptoms of MS?
- How are they going to treat it?
- How long will it take to get better?
Be prepared to answer them. The business term to remember is elevator pitch. What would you say to someone if you were riding in an elevator with them? No need to go into detail – just a sentence or two is enough. You may need help finding the answers, so finding a basic book like The Can Do Multiple Sclerosis Guide to Lifestyle Empowerment is a good place to start. The National MS Society has pamphlets on practically any subject, and you can read them online or download them.
Note: I’ve included an affiliate link. I would never recommend a book that I haven’t read and found useful.
When you’re talking to an Expert
It doesn’t matter if they’re quoting a study that you know has been disproved. You may have just watched a Can Do MS webinar where a registered dietician said that there is no evidence that the diet has an impact on MS. Odds are that you won’t be able to change the Expert’s mind, so don’t waste time trying. Acknowledge you’ve heard them – even just a simple nod will work – and then change the subject.
When you’re talking to a Stranger
Keep it simple. You don’t owe them any details. Decide what you think is TMI. Figure out a pleasant exit line that you’ll use to get away if someone is probing past your comfort level. Maybe you can use one of the CatchPhrases shown below.
When you’re talking to a Digger
Like I said before, you probably think that Diggers fit in one of the other categories. Once you’ve figured out you’re dealing with a Digger, switch to the Stranger strategy. You set your boundaries and don’t let anyone push you beyond them.
Let’s Play CatchPhrase
I’m from the South, and we take pride in using a CatchPhrase. It’s a code where we’ll say something – usually with polite smiles on our faces – while in our heads we are cutting you down like a dead tree.
Having a CatchPhrase gives you an out. It also helps you keep you in check. You will be able to stay in control of your comfort and your anger. You’re prepared and you’re not going to talk about anything you don’t want to.
Here are some CatchPhrases, plus their hidden meaning. Don’t be afraid to come up with your own – stick with what works for you.
For The Newbie
Each person’s experience is different. (I’m sick of talking about MS.)
There are plenty of good resources on the Internet that you can use. (My name is not Google. Or Bing.)
For The Expert
That’s interesting information. I’ll go over that with my neurologist at my next appointment. (And when did you get your medical degree?)
I’m so glad that your friend is feeling better. (Sweetie, that witch doctor concoction didn’t magically ‘cure’ your friend. That’s like saying it’s going to snow tomorrow because it snowed exactly one year ago.)
Thank you for your concern. (I’m leaving now. I have no interest in spending another moment with you.)
I don’t want to bore you with all of the details. (TMI – it’s on a need-to-know basis and you do not need to know.)
I don’t want to waste any more of your time. (You are wasting my time.)
Please excuse me. (I want to get as far away from you as soon as possible.)
It’s a long story. (And that story is none of your damn business.)
Let’s talk about something else. (Shut up. You crossed the line.)
Enough about me. How are you doing? (I can distract you into spending at least 15 minutes talking about your cat.)
You can’t always anticipate when you’re going to be asked about MS. What you can do is be prepared for the typical situations. Make sure you keep control and only talk about what you feel comfortable talking about. And it doesn’t hurt to have a few CatchPhrases at hand so you can get out of a conversation without sacrificing your sense of humor.
Check out the Archives for more tips!
